The Asexual Diaries of Dipa Mahbuba Yasmin

Once upon a time in Bangladesh, lived a creative young girl named Yasmin. She had a profound understanding of herself, but she had always felt different from her peers.  While others around her expressed interest in relationships & sexual desires, Yasmin simply did not experience those same attractions. Although it took a long time, at one point she discovered that her feelings has a name, it is asexuality.  

Yasmin was trapped in a society that did not understand sexual diversity. Her family were ashamed and asked her to receive treatment for her “condition”, though Yasmin knew deep-rooted that she was fine, she was merely different. They held traditional beliefs and simply couldn’t comprehend Yasmin’s emotions & identity. They assumed that she was shy or hadn’t discovered the right person yet. As Yasmin matured, alarm replaced their worry, and they endeavored to take action.

One fateful evening, her parents brought up marriage and starting a family. This weighed greatly on Yasmin’s mind as they attempted to persuade her into matrimony and at one point even attempted to compel it.  

Worrying for daughter’s future married life, Yasmin’s mother went to a Sufi who promised to “cure” her daughter from asexuality. The priest uttered the surah-mantra and blew on the water before giving it to her mother for Yasmin to drink. Feeling powerless, isolated, and unrecognized, Yasmin watched as her mom tried feeding her the water.

But Yasmin’s lack of interest remained unchanged. Her parents took her to a gynecologist and had all sorts of tests done. When they got the report back, they were speechless – there was nothing wrong with her physically. Her hormones were functioning just like any other woman’s. Now all her relatives started saying “Yasmin is psychologically abnormal and needed to be fixed.”

Feeling helpless and alone, thoughts of suicide began to enter Yasmin’s mind as the only way out. Yet, her inner strength was immeasurable and she was determined to keep going.Hoping to escape these religious deceivers, Yasmin went to see a psychologist named Dr. Abdullah (pseudonym) with her parents. She sat down on the chair in front of his desk and his tag on the desk said that he was a Doctor of Clinical Psychology.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain and finding joy in the midst of life’s challenges.”

Vivian Greene

Dr. Abdullah said, “Miss Yasmin,” his voice tinged with an air of authority. “I’ve reviewed your case thoroughly. It seems you’ve been struggling with your sexual orientation for quite some time. Tell me, what do you feel when you’re not feel sexually attracted to someone of any gender?” Yasmin’s stomach churned with apprehension. Yasmin hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words. “Yes, but I feel scared,” she admitted. “Scared of dying alone, scared of never getting partner, scared of what society will think of me, scared of being judged and shunned.” The doctor leaned forward and clasped his hands together, his gaze unwavering. “Miss Yasmin, in my professional opinion, I believe you are suffering from a condition known as Gamophobia. It’s a deep-seated fear of commitment or intimacy, often misconstrued as a different sexual orientation. But fear not, we can work through this together.” Yasmin’s heart sank like a stone. Gamophobia?   Those words pierced through her soul, numbing her to the core. She had hoped for understanding, for acceptance, but all she received was a diagnosis that belittled and dismissed her true self. As Yasmin left the doctor’s office that day, her resolve hardened. She knew deep down that her journey was far from over.

It was a harsh and very painful experience for her, as Yasmin was forced into therapy sessions that aimed to change her orientation. But Yasmin’s spirit was strong, she knew that there was nothing wrong with being asexual.

But what ultimately shattered Yasmin was her family’s secret arrangement of her marriage. Desperate to escape the impending suffering, Yasmin had no choice but to flee from home. In Bangladesh, there was no shelter home for queer individuals and no job prospects. Consequently, her life plummeted into a state of unimaginable distress with no safe place to stay, not enough food, and no way to make money for the week. But her luck changed when she was offered to sublet her a transgender friend’s space and become a volunteer worker for their underground LGBT+ organization. This journey changed the pathway of her life.

Determined to make a difference, one day Yasmin decided to share her story through vlogs, encouraging other people to come forward and fight for recognition and acceptance. With no legal protection, she nonetheless kept on spreading awareness through local and international online communities, learning more about activists fighting for the rights of marginalized sexual orientations all over the world.

This didn’t go unnoticed – International human rights organizations began to take part in her mission, joining forces to give her message more attention and led to interviews with BBC Bangla & Voice of America as well as social media campaigns, and advocacy efforts.  Yasmin’s influence grew, and she fought for laws that protected asexual individuals from ‘conversion’ therapy and unjust treatment.

Today, known by her activist name Dipa Mahbuba Yasmin, she is an asexual activist on a global stage. Her journey from a forgotten and persecuted girl to a vocal proponent for all sexual orientations has motivated many people globally. Her story continues to be inspiring, reminding us that speaking up for what we believe in is key in this fight for equality.